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RE: [PSUBS-MAILIST] Bullshit bingo for submarine design discussions

Ray,

If you decide to create a "submarine humor" section, some posts over the years have prompted me to hit the save button and store them away in a little humor folder on my hard drive. I'm sure I've missed hundreds, for example when checking email remotely. Reviewing them now, its apparent Pat accounts for a huge share of the funnies, but there are so many others that should be there too. Anyway, here's the few I've got...

Alec



--------------- pasted below ------------------

From: Jonathan Wallace [jon@whoweb.com]
Sent: Wednesday, July 12, 2000 8:18 PM
To: personal_submersibles@psubs.org
Subject: Re: [PSUBS-MAILIST] this site is worth looking at

>I visit this site often to get some inspiration.
>My wife says she won't get on a sub unless it's 60 feet in length,

That sounds like inspiration to design something less than 60
feet in length.  :)


---------------
From:  Captain Nemo [SMTP:vulcania@interpac.net]    
To:  Personal (Discussion) Submersibles   
Cc:     
 
Subject:  [PSUBS-MAILIST] "I LIKE AIR"   
Sent:  11/11/00 6:35 PM 
 Importance:  Normal   
"I LIKE AIR"
 
I like compressed air, I think it's so keen,
I use it a lot in my own submarine.
I use it to blow ballast water away;
if I'm forced to escape, I might need it someday.
It doesn't catch fire and it doesn't explode;
the refills are cheap and the tanks don't corrode.
It's excellent stuff (and for those who might doubt it)
remember: you wouldn't be breathing without it!
If a tire on the trailer begins to get low,
a shot from the tank and I'm back on the go.
Dive MY sub without it?  I won't even dare
submerge underwater without compressed air.
 
A. Nonny Mouse
   
-----------------
From: SFreihof@aol.com
Sent: Thursday, August 09, 2001 5:48 PM
To: personal_submersibles@psubs.org
Subject: Re: [PSUBS-MAILIST] question about general design?

In a message dated 8/9/01 12:36:55 AM Eastern Daylight Time, 
vulcania@interpac.net writes:

<< Old saying:  "Cheap sub not good; good sub not cheap".  >>

Thanks for sharing that old wisdom, Captain Nemo.  That one has been filed in 
my cerebral data bank.

Stan

-----------------
From: MerlinSub@t-online.de
Sent: Friday, August 10, 2001 3:34 AM
To: personal_submersibles@psubs.org
Subject: Re: [PSUBS-MAILIST] question about general design?



SFreihof@aol.com schrieb:
> 
> In a message dated 8/9/01 12:36:55 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
> vulcania@interpac.net writes:
> 
> << Old saying:  "Cheap sub not good; good sub not cheap".  >>

"Expensive subs not automaticly good" 

Carsten

--------------

From: Captain Nemo [vulcania@interpac.net]
Sent: Thursday, August 09, 2001 5:57 PM
To: personal_submersibles@psubs.org
Subject: Re: [PSUBS-MAILIST] question about general design?


----- Original Message -----
From: "Carsten Standfuß" <MerlinSub@t-online.de>
To: <personal_submersibles@psubs.org>
Sent: Friday, August 10, 2001 7:34 AM
Subject: Re: [PSUBS-MAILIST] question about general design?


> "Expensive subs not automaticly good"
>
> Carsten

"Inexpensive subs not automatically bad"

Pat

-----------------
From: <TeslaTony@aol.com>
To: <personal_submersibles@psubs.org>
Sent: Wednesday, May 16, 2001 2:38 PM
Subject: Re: [PSUBS-MAILIST] new to this list - dry ambient sub??


> Excellent! We need more young people around to irritate Carsten, Pat and
all
> the other helpful madmen with questions along the lines of "How do you
think
> a CO2 scrubber that uses algae will work?" (that was a question of mine
that
> got some very interesting responses.....).

Irritate?  Not at all, my imaginative young friend.  In fact, algae
scrubbers have been used quite successfully for eons....by frogs.  At first,
there was a problem with the scrubber housing failing under pressure, which
resulted in a few fatalities.  But that problem was solved with the addition
of structural reinforcements when they learned that, if they rib-it, they
won't croak.

Pat

-----------------
----- Original Message -----
From: "Lew Clayman" <lew_clayman@yahoo.com>
To: <personal_submersibles@psubs.org>
Sent: Friday, June 22, 2001 2:01 PM
Subject: RE: [PSUBS-MAILIST] Re: PSUB Logo


"White looks cheap."

I think I know what you might mean, but I'd add that it depends on how it's
done.  F.E.: The sub on the ATLANTIS logo is white, shaded in silver and
grey, and looks clean, bright, fresh, and elegant.  A sparkling machine in
prototype white.  Absolutely gorgeous; and (in our case) emblematic of the
unique (often one-off) boats we build.

Of course, what I really think you guys ought to do is simply reproduce that
picture of me standing on the trailer with my NAUTILUS MINISUB, since it's
just plain flat out and with no doubt in my mind whatsoever the absolute
most eye-melting, crowd pleasing,  and visually orgasmic personal
submersible that ever was or ever will be (and you could use that image
until I get some pictures of the new and improved sub, whereupon you can
revamp the whole tamale).  To me, that one picture says it all:  the lone
artisan, triumphant after years of personal struggle in his humble little
backyard shop, standing there with something everybody told him just
couldn't be done: the World's only functional specimen of the most widely
recognized fictional submarine design in history: Captain Nemo's NAUTILUS.

But then, I might be biased......

Pat

----------------
From: D. Blake [dblake@bright.net]
Sent: Saturday, December 23, 2000 12:33 AM
To: personal_submersibles@psubs.org
Subject: Re: [PSUBS-MAILIST] test

Hi Walker, and welcome to the discussion group.
I was watching one of the Discovery channels earlier today about airplanes.
Hmm, maybe it was the Discovery Wings Channel.  Anyway, when airplanes were
in their infancy of development---prior to the first World War---they were
often referred to as a "gentleman's conveyance".  I think thats pretty cool.
PSUB=gentleman's underwater conveyance?  Certainly is a mouth full not
unlike calling an SUV a genteman's multiple terrain multi-purpose horseless
carriage.
Still, a "gentleman's underwater conveyance"?  Yeah, I think it has a
certain resonance.  You know, an unidentifiable quality that sparks the
imagination on multiple levels.

"Tell me Chap and please pardon my ignorance, but what is this...this
thing...you have secured to the pier?"

"In answer to your query,  what you see before you is my attempt at creating
a 'gentleman's underwater conveyance'."

"A 'gentleman's underwater conveyance' you say?  Oh yes...yes indeed!  But
please indulge me, what purpose does this...thing... have beyond the
curious?"

"This..."thing"...enables the mortal man the ability to dive deep into the
inky black fish infested waters and return to the surface unharmed fully
able to continue carrying out  his obligations to employer, family, and
friends.  Yes, there is a certain amount of risk involved, but how can you
perform an activity without risk and still claim to be heroic?"

"Oh yes...now I see...This is an unusual craft designed for, and built by,
unusual people.  I say that not as a critiicism, but in forlorn admiration.
Good luck my friend."

-----------------


-----Original Message-----
From: Coalbunny [mailto:coalbunny@vcn.com]
Sent: Monday, December 30, 2002 2:48 PM
To: personal_submersibles@psubs.org
Subject: Re: [PSUBS-MAILIST] Bullshit bingo for submarine design
discussions


Humor?
carl


Ray Keefer wrote:
> 
> Mike,
> 
> I love it. If I have the spare time I might create a card. I am trying
> to figure where to put it on the web site:
> 
> Design Guidelines?
> Disasters?
> Ethos?
> FAQ?
> Safety and Emergancies?
> 
> Regards,
> Ray
> 
> > To: personal_submersibles@psubs.org
> > Date: Sun, 22 Dec 2002 22:24:04 -0500
> > Subject: [PSUBS-MAILIST] Bullshit bingo for submarine design discussions
> > X-Juno-Line-Breaks: 0-52
> > From: Michael B Holt <tlohm@juno.com>
> >
> >
> > Do you keep panicking at some ideas you hear offered during
> > submarine design discussions?   Do you worry that others
> > may not recognize those ideas for what they are?
> >
> > "Bullshit Bingo" is a way to change all of that:
> >
> > 1.  Before (or during) your next meeting, on-line discussion, or
> > new thread, prepare your "Bullshit Bingo" card by drawing a
> > square (I find that  5" x 5 "is a good size) and dividing it into
> > columns -- five across and  five down.   That will give you 25
> > 1-inch blocks.
> >
> > 2.  Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
> >
> > a) no-cost
> > b) propane
> > c) automotive
> > d) impossible
> > e) never deeper than
> > f) accepted practice
> > g) take that off-line
> > h) gasoline/petrol
> > i) completely safe
> > j) good enough
> > k) nuclear
> > l) cast iron
> > m) win-win
> > n) think outside the box
> > o) determined after launching
> > p) result-driven
> > q) PVC/plastic
> > r) knowledge base
> > s) probably doesn't matter
> > t) will never happen
> > u) mindset
> > v) government surplus
> > w) ballpark
> > x) plywood
> > y) riveted
> >
> > 3.  Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those
> > words/phrases.
> >
> > 4.  When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or
> > diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"
> >
> > Testimonials from satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players are
> > hereby solicited.
> >
> >
> >
> > .
> >
> >
> > ________________________________________________________________
> > Sign Up for Juno Platinum Internet Access Today
> > Only $9.95 per month!
> > Visit www.juno.com

-- 
"You delight not in a city's seven or seventy wonders, but in an answer
it gives to a question of yours, or the question it asks you, forcing
you to answer, like Thebes through the mouth of the Sphinx." -- Kublai
Khan